Some new wind in my sail ...

During the past summer I’ve had some extraordinary photo shoots in the two genres that interest me primarily – male figurative work and architectural interiors. I’ve met some great people, had both laughs and lows and, most importantly, learned whether I’m cut out to be a commercial photographer. And while photography is something of a passion, I don’t believe I can make a career out of it.

There are several reasons. While I’ve developed a mature style as a photographer – especially in the male figurative work – the market is shifting away from still photography to videos and from art photography to porn. I’m not skilled as a videographer and don’t have the temperament for porn. Ergo, the market for my skill sets is shrinking. And, while I love doing interiors, the setups are long, the pay is limited and my non-urban location makes for a very limited client base. Plus, increasingly, I’m reluctant to move from Key West. After fifteen years it has become home. To become successful in either of those genres would ultimately require a move to a place where I know no one and have few contacts. Building a client base elsewhere in either genre would take several years with the obvious financial consequences.

As a consequence, I’ve decided to return to my other love – the piano – and believe I’ve figured out a way to make a living at it. Here in the Keys there is not a single R.P.T. (Registered Piano Technician). There are a few people who tune – some badly, some pretty well – but it’s almost impossible to get their services. Yet there are thousands of pianos here in our island archipelago. I have to believe there’s a business in it all for someone who’s fully trained both as a tuner as well as a technician & rebuilder. So I’ve put myself back into school and am on the road to becoming the Florida Keys only R.P.T. For anyone who may interested in keeping up with that journey, you can check out the blog http://www.livingwithzelda.blogspot.com/

But back to the photography. It’s something that’s been a passion for years. So I won’t be giving it up. In fact I just made an agreement with Leather Master here in Key West to mount a permanent rotating exhibit of my work, which will feature original prints as well as greeting cards, postcards, mugs, etc. The first exhibit will be going up this month, October 2009. Additionally, the new owners have asked me to help them with the photography for a new web site that’s in the works – something a little edgier that what they have currently. You can check out the “before & after” by going to http://www.leathermaster.com/ now and returning in a few months.

So while I won’t be photographing as much, I’ll still be looking for models from time to time who are interested in either the male figurative art photography and/or picking up a gig for one of the Leather Master shoots. Feel free to contact me if that’s an interest when you’re visiting Key West. I’ll update information about potential shoots here.

Looking down a long, lonely road

Struggling with the issue of feedback -- or lack of it -- has frozen most of my creative efforts over the past month.

The question I keep asking myself is "what's the point" if the work is just something for whom the principal audience is myself, my computer and the occasional viewer on ModelMayhem or deviantArt, the two principal sites where I post current work. Visions of the reclusive Emily Dickinson play through my mind's eye -- writing 1800 poems over the years yet publishing just a dozen in her lifetime. I wonder, did it matter to her that so few knew of her talent? Did she become paralyzed with self-doubt in the absence of acclaim? Or, did she write simply because it was in her soul to do so without regard to what others might think? And, what about the hundreds of others -- perhaps as talented as she -- whose work has never been discovered, never published, never known?

The quandary, of course, is analagous to the ancient "if a tree falls in the forest with no one to hear, does it make a sound?"

I don't think this is something I'm going to solve for myself in this post; but at least I need to look down the road again to try to regain some perspective. Less than a week ago, I was set to delete this blog, wipe out all the files on ModelMayhem and deviantArt and simply close the book on 15 years of photography. I'd even taken the batteries out of my camera with no desire for doing any additional work.

Then one person who had seen one image on deviantArt asked if he could see a few more in the series. I sent him the set via e-mail. What ensued has been remarkable. As a "thank you" he gave me an additional year's membership on deviantArt. And, perhaps more importantly, he started writing me e-mails about what he saw in the images and how powerful they were for him. The dialogue helped me look at the images in a totally different way -- and reminded me that an art object really isn't a static piece; but rather a reference point. Good art is an experience shared between the viewer and the object's creator.

And there's the rub. Is it enough that one other person sees the value?

Here comes the anecdote for this post.

I was the only person in my high school graduating class to go on to college. And, initially, even I didn't get very far -- a teacher's college in Greenville, North Carolina. East Carolina, while huge, didn't exactly have a sterling academic reputation. Most of the people who taught there felt and acted as if they had been put out to pasture. I remember one of my teachers looking at our English class saying "Ya'll aren't stupid, you're just pathetic." So much for positive reinforcement.

But there were exceptions.

I especially remember David Serrins, a superb musician who conducted the orchestra and was clearly on a different level than his colleagues. He brimmed over with joy for his music, was attentive to his students and always left the room lighter than when he entered. It was magical to be in his presence.

One day I finally got up the nerve to ask him the white-elephant-in-the-middle-of-the-room question, "Why are you here with this pack of losers, when you could be anywhere?"

He had been an oboe student studying under the legendary Marcel Tabuteau, arguably one of the greatest oboists of all time. During Serrins' senior year at the Curtis Institute, Arturo Toscanini was scheduled to guest conduct the Philadelphia Symphony with one of the featured works to be an oboe concerto. A week before the concert Tabuteau notified the symphony that he would be sending one of his star students to fill in for him for the first rehearsal as he had double booked. It would be great experience for his student to have the experience of working with Toscanini. And, of course, he would be there for all subsequent rehearsals and the performance.

The rehearsal began. Halfway through the first movement, Toscanini pounded the podium and screamed out "stop". Looking directly at Serrins, but addressing the entire orchestra, he said "We start again." The music resumed and Serrins redoubled his efforts assuming the worst. Again, at a different point in the music, Toscanini stopped the music. Staring at Serrins, he shouted "play again, play again." Everyone in the orchestra shuffled, there was visible embarassment and the piece was started all over. The third time Toscanini allowed the piece to play out. During the ensuing break, Serrins walked up to the maestro to apologize and explain that he was only filling in for Tabuteau.

Toscanini's response was "I have never heard so beautiful. I could not believe my ears. You will play at the concert -- not Tabuteau."

Serrins looked me in the eye as he finished his story and said, "Since that time, I've never felt I had to prove anything to anyone."

While I crave a wider audience, it's pretty clear I don't have it. So far the big commercial contracts -- even the little ones -- are, to say the least, elusive. And, unlike Serrins, I do feel as if I need to prove myself. But then there's this one person whose life was enriched because of a set of images I sent him; and, who in turn, has enriched my life.

Maybe I should put the batteries back in the camera.

In the wake of a perfect shoot...

What a run of extraordinary shoots and models I had June through August!

Each person I worked with -- importantly -- is compelling as a person, someone I'd gladly count as a friend in times to come regardless of whether modeling is ever again an option. Each is adventurous, engaged 100% during the shoot and full of positive energy. And each is extremely easy on the eyes. The hard work and discipline that's been required for Chad, Oocelot & Nathan to develop their bodies is evident. It would be pretty difficult to take a bad picture of any of them.

So I've been blessed in my choice of people both to work with and to count among my friends.

Yet, for the past two weeks I haven't been able to bring myself to return to the computer to edit any more of their images. Normally the editing process is something I enjoy as much as the shoot itself. It's taking the raw images to the next level -- finding and revealing the core of the image; if you will, its integrity. Sometimes, it's an emotion, sometimes raw eroticism, sometimes a fleeting look, sometimes just beautiful form --but almost always a celebration of something special I discovered about that person.

What's up with me? Why haven't I dug into the editing process like I usually do? I honestly don't have an answer -- just some unformed ideas that are percolating through my thick skull.

Something that I've become acutely aware of personally is that I need feedback.

For example, I've sent several of the superior photos to online blogs such as Beautiful among others. Again, not even a "yep, we got your photos" yet the work they do publish varies in quality from the highly imaginative, creative work of Justin Monroe to the static, but well-lit studio work by Dylan Rosser. Now I know my work isn't at the level of some photographers out there; but I also know it is more than a match for a lot of what does get published. Yet, somehow I don't know which door to go to -- or even to knock at. All of which leaves me wondering, is any of this worth the time and effort?

I truly enjoy the process of planning and creating the shoots and -- usually -- love the editing process which follows. Yet, if the audience is to be myself, my computer and the occasional visitor to the galleries on ModelMayhem and deviantArt, what's the point?

So, yesterday, I was having a long "catch up" conversation with my former housemate and good friend, Karen, who recently moved back to Kentucky to reinvent herself there after nearly 15 years here in Key West. Among many other (mostly positive) things, I shared with her my frustration at not being able to make a break into this business. That perhaps I should do the occasional shoot just for the fun of it; and forget the notion of making a living from it. Despite enormous talent and intelligence, Karen is experiencing some similar frustrations and self doubts in her current creative endeavors. I suppose we both suffer from the "if you build it, they will come" syndrome. We share the belief that if you're doing something out of some internal joy, that somehow that effort can turn into something that sustains you financially as well. Call it the dreamer in me.

Yet in the meanderings of our conversation, I realized that perhaps I'm just not dreaming big enough. While I totally love my "nekkid guy" photography, I realized as I spoke with her, that it's the process of making compelling images that speaks to me at a more fundamental level.

I'm in awe of people who can tell a story with images -- whether it's a picture in National Geographic, a clip on television or a full-blown documentary or movie. Images that capture the imagination and move people beyond current awareness are a part of what changes the world in which we live and, hopefully, leave it a better place.

I'd like to think that I can do that. I'm at a point in life when most people start to think about retiring. Instead I'm thinking about how I can start creating. I also know I need to become more knowledgeable and skilled at what I do to create truly compelling work.

Guess I need to let it percolate a bit more; but somehow I sense that the same hard work and discipline Chad, Oocelot & Nathan have endured to create their bodies will be required of me to create my craft.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Showing my age, the song "Do Re Mi" from Roger & Hammerstein's The Sound of Music starts off "Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start..."

And that's what today has principally been about.

Four days ago I noticed I was no longer getting e-mail from my studio4496 accounts. There have been occasional intermittent outages in the past, which usually self-corrected after a few hours, so I didn't think much of it. Second day, the same; so I sent an e-mail from my gmail account to the web host provider...no response. Odd, this fellow is both an old friend and one of the most conscientious people I've ever known in my life. If something is going wrong with any of the sites he manages, he's all over it until it's fixed. Then...my e-mail to him bounced back on the third day. Even stranger. So finally, Friday (yesterday) I took the unusual step of calling him on his landline.

The first words from his mouth, "You were the next person on my long list to call!"

As it turns out, the server farm from whom he leases his space, had been sold without any prior knowledge given to him. All the sites he manages literally had been pulled down from the Internet in the transfer. And none have repopulated. He didn't even have access to his own Web sites (hence the reason my e-mail to him bounced back -- no sites, no e-mail).

Today has been spent reconstructing the infrastructure of my Studio4496 web site. If you go to the site at the moment, there's just a place holder. I have a new DNS in place, new unique IP address, no e-mail as yet (other than here on gmail). After six hours of working on it all, I just ran out of steam. There is a backup copy of the legacy site which he'll be sending me; but -- in some ways -- this outage is forcing me to do what I've been planning to do for almost a whole year -- redesign the entire site. And, perhaps more importantly, retool my own skill sets in the process. I may or may not republish the legacy site -- just not sure yet.

So my two steps forward -- amazing shoots with the likes of Nathan (pictured above in his sheik scenario), Oocelot & Chad -- over the past six weeks. And my one step back -- no way to share them with the world at the moment.

Needless to say, there's a steep learning curve ahead. First I have to purchase the new Adobe Creative Suite (major investment I've been saving for) then I have to bring myself up to speed very quickly on Dreamweaver first (all the sites I'd built in the past were built in the now-defunct Frontpage) as well as some of the other new tools in the suite.

While this unexpected turn of events is delaying some of the things I'd hoped to be doing (like editing right now), it's also forcing me to retool myself more quickly for the next step in this journey toward producing a major porn site. I've had several near successes in the past; but now the confluence of a more mature photographic style, working with great models (and realizing how much I love the work), the disappearance of all my old work other than ModelMayhem and DeviantArt, and the immediate need to unlearn and relearn everything I ever knew about about Web design is the necessary kick in the proverbial pants I needed to get back to the "very beginning". Today's phone calls to godaddy to re-establish ownership of my domains, the work on the most basic server side stuff just to get a placeholder in place (I'll tackle e-mail tomorrow) is all very unglamorous; but a necessary part of the learning curve. It really is only one step back that, hopefully, will make the next steps forward much more functional and productive.

With regard to my throwaway statement above "journey toward producing a major porn site", I realize after reading and rereading my post "In for penny, in for a pound" that I was talking about my own ambivalence as much as Oocelot's. I've been so hung up on whether the work is art (or not) that I've prevented myself from fully engaging in what I enjoy. I just need to start thinking of it as a business -- that I enjoy as do the models -- and know full well there's a market for.

And I've finally figured out that no one is getting used in this business unless they allow themselves to be. Most models understand that the objectification that occurs in porn isn't about them as a person; but about their body. The body becomes a product; but not the person. For some it's dfficult to separate the two -- and, if that's the case, they probably aren't going to be particularly well suited for doing porn. On the other hand, for others it's an absolute blast seeing themselves in a totally light through different eyes. The objectification becomes a point of power.

So I also started the conversation today about totally re-thinking the old mansimage.com site, which was initially successful, but languished partially from my own hangups about "porn" and partially because my business partner got swept away for a period with a number of personal issues. We've reconnected and have found our relationship is just as strong as it ever was -- perhaps stronger because of what we've each experienced over the past three years. And, importantly, the infrastructure for that site is still intact and much of the old material is useable so we'll even have an initial inventory of photos, videos and behind-the-scenes interviews. We just need to rethink what works in the current market and redesign accordingly. The learning curve I'll go through to rebuild my own site will make that site even better.

Yesterday, it felt like a step back. Today, it's feeling like several steps forward. The beginning really is a very good place start.

Weekend Afterglow

This morning's 5 AM trip to the airport to drop off Nathan Lewis was bittersweet. It was the end of one of the most memorable photographic shooting weekends I've ever had. And that's saying a lot as I've recently been blessed with working with such people as Alan Valdez, Oocelot & Chad Glenn.

The three-day shoot with Nathan Lewis from the UK has been in the planning stages for months. It wasn't without a few bumps from the environment that impacted some of our planned shoots; but other opportunities appeared balancing off the negatives. In fact, as I packed up the lighting equipment from the Monday morning shoot at one of Key West's grand houses (see photo of Nathan above), I realized I was the most content I've been in years. I believe this work truly is my next calling.

The weekend was further enhanced by the presence and participation of my friend Stephen (Figurative Male on ModelMayhem.com) from Palm Springs. It's hard to imagine two people with whom I'd rather spend a long weekend. As a further treat artist/photographer extraordinaire David Vance was visiting in Key West so as a celebratory conclusion to our shoot Nathan surprised David & me with dinner together. David's infectious conversation about his art was just the perfect icing on an already perfect confection of time.

After the airport run the real world waited -- shower, shave, the day job (sailed through some tough customers on the leftover eurphoria), an advisory board meeting immediately thereafter, then my volunteer bookkeeper duties for my church. Finally got home at 9:30 PM to make a quick supper and am now entering these few words.

The afterglow is still going (and I suspect will for a while). Nonetheless, there will no doubt be more thoughtful and analytical comments in the near future. And exhaustion is finally setting in so -- for now, if you happen to be reading this -- thank you Nathan; thank you Stephen. In addition to some extraordinary work for which I'll begin the editing process tomorrow, more importantly, I know in Nathan I've initiated a new friendship and with Stephen I've strengthened an already wonderful relationship.

I'm beginning to sound a little maudlin so best to quit before I spill beer on the keyboard. Photos of both are included above.

The Train is Out of the Station

I achieved my goal of finishing my first-ever submission for publication one day early. Now comes the months of waiting with no feedback.

The process of going through so many images was humbling. There's so much work involved. Many (in my estimation) were worthy photos; but humbling in the sense that, as I revisited all this work, only a few began to "pop" as memorable.

There were six submissions: five calendar style submissions in horizontal formats and one "other" submission of favorite verticals. The 40,000 plus images shot over the past four years have been boiled down to 258 images. I suspect the art director on the receiving end is wishing I was a better editor. But you have to start somewhere.

I have to be on the road in about six hours to start all over again.

I'm picking up Nathan Lewis from the UK tomorrow at the Miami airport. It's a four hour drive up and four hours back to Key West. So no shooting tomorrow; but then we embark upon a three-day marathon. Should be great fun.

Time to get to bed.

Three down, three to go...

With the July 31st deadline rapidly approaching for my submission to Lighthouse publications, I've now completed 80% of the selection and editing process. Over the course of the past two weeks I've reviewed close to 50,000 photos done over the past four years to winnow it down to the few that I think may have a chance in the world of commercial male figurative photography.


Interestingly, one quick "no" for the calendar submissions was any photograph shot in a vertical format. That immediately eliminated about 90% of my work. A lot of my portrait work I shoot as horizontals; but not that many nudes unless there's something about the setting that demands it. So just by knowing that one requirement, I've now learned I'm going to have to start thinking differently in the future and look for both horizontal and vertical possibilities in every setting. That should push a few creative buttons down the road.


I'm putting together six different submissions: two calendar submissions are of individual models -- Chad & Oocelot -- simply because both are amazing models, neither has been overexposed (so to speak) in the market, the work is recent, and -- in some ways represents some of my best work. There are three other calendar submissions of different models I've worked with over the past four years: beefcake (non-nude twenty-something boys next door); art nudes and erotic nudes, mostly of more mature men. And, finally, there were too many good vertical shots not to send a few. So I put together a compilation of about 80 "best" photos (this time mostly vertical) that really don't fit any of the publisher's categories. But each tells its own story. Hopefully, a few may find a home as a greeting card or on the page of one of their publications.


I still have a few days work to go; but know I'll make the deadline -- just in time to start all over again with a shoot I've been planning for months with the amazing Nathan Lewis from the UK, who's on a shooting work/vacation tour of the US during July & August. (BTW Nathan was one of the three finalists to become the "face" of MenAtPlay. You can see his audition photos and video at http://www.menatplay.com/ )


So, after reviewing about 50,000 photos I've learned a lot about my work and know it's going to force me to rethink a number of things. There are stylistic and content issues I know I'm going to have to start working on, which I'll discuss in future posts. But especially I'm going to need to rethink the whole concept of themes. As I look through the work of other successful photographers, not only do they have a certain unique look, but also they tend to shoot consistently for a period of time around a specific idea, e.g. Dylan Rosser's "red" theme or Mark Henderson's "household" theme. I guess it's the male photography equivalent of having a "hook" or in marketing jargon, unique selling point.


Also upon review I've learned both the good news; and the bad news about my work.


The good news is that my images don't look like anything you see in the men's magazines, i.e. there's some originality and creativity there.


The bad news is that my images don't look like anything you see in the men's magazines, i.e. I'm fighting an uphill battle for what's considered commercially viable in this market.


It'll be most interesting to see which, if any, of the six submissions are chosen. Is it original enough to intrigue an art director's imagination; yet safe enough to make the financial gamble?

In for a penny, in for a pound?

The past weekend's shoot with Oocelot was--as expected--remarkable. We did eleven sets in about 8-9 hours of shooting over a day and a half. Each is very different in character and look. Once again, as with Chad Glenn on July 4th, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with both the quality and quantity of what I need to edit. I now have literally thousands of images of the two of them to review with the goal of finding the best to edit and try to place either in the art and/or commercial market.

While Oocelot is relatively new to being in front of a camera, he's a graphic artist with an extraordinary eye. So he's quickly learning to see in his mind's eye what the camera sees and moves to poses which further flatter his already amazing physique. With each session we both learn something new about our mutual crafts and how they contribute to a successful image -- or not, as is sometimes the case. Almost always when looking at the outtakes from each set we agreed on which images were the strongest. I can hardly wait to work with him again -- already planned for one of the last two weekends in September, hopefully, with Chad doing some co-modeling.

Unlike a number of photographers who, when they "discover" someone, try to keep him under wraps, I'm encouraging Oocelot to shoot with as many photographers as he can. He'll only get better having multiple experiences with different photographers' styles and methods.

(Just a quick side note here -- from a purely selfish / commercial standpoint I understand why photographers keep a lid on their finds -- the images are more likely to sell. Collectors & art directors become addicted to particular models more so than the work of a particular photographer / artist. So if you can control the source, you are more likely to give yourself a better chance at an income stream from the exclusive images. On the other hand, it always struck me as totally unfair to the model, both financially and professionally.

However, I remember a few years ago sending photos of my "find" Peter Stevens to an agent. Next thing I knew he was a two-time centerfold in Playgirl as well as featured in several exercise magazines. I never even got a "thank you" from the agent much less an offer to do any of those shoots. Nonetheless, I was happy for Peter -- it set him off on a very successful career. And, I probably still need to learn that lesson since I continue to feel the pinch of hundreds of hours of work with him and no reward.)

But back to Oocelot. There's no way I would consider holding him back even if I could. It's no surprise his images are already getting noticed. And, consequently, offers of all sorts are coming his way. Everything from guys with cameras to successful commercial photographers to porn producers. And his interest is piqued -- especially with the offers from the porn companies. Both the money and the fantasy intrigue him. I suspect by the time we do our September shoot, he'll no longer be using the moniker Oocelot, but will be sporting some provocative alias.

While I can't speak for him and don't know what his ultimate decision will be, I know it's both difficult and is very tempting at the same time. As long as you're working for a reputable production company whose practices are ethical, who wouldn't enjoy getting paid for doing something you enjoy anyway? In the context of a porn production company, it's possible to play out (hopefully safely) some of those fantasies many dream about, but few ever experience. And with Oocelot's look and body, I suspect if he enjoys the shoots, he's someone whose career wouldn't end with just a video or two, but could grow into something substantial as long as he wants it.

We talked about it a lot over the weekend. And I have to admit that I have some conflicted feelings. If I were his age, had his looks and charisma, I'd probably take the offers -- if for no other reason than to do some personal exploration (and also for the money and fantasy). But in our conversations, Oocelot said something that struck me as profound, which I'd never thought about quite in the same vein. And it left a bit of a knot in my stomach. (My stuff, not his.)

A close paraphrase goes something like this. "When you're modeling you're using your body to sell something -- a product, a fantasy, a sensation. But when, you're doing porn your body becomes the product."

In other words, you have to find a place in your own mind to objectify yourself and be okay with that. You're no longer "you" but -- in the crassest term -- a piece of meat to be fucked or to fuck. That's both exhilirating and frightening. Exhilirating, in the sense that it allows you to be something other than "you" as you've come to know yourself. Frightening, in the sense that you don't know where it can lead. And, of course, once the video is out there, it's something you can't take back. It becomes not only a part of how others view you when you're walking through the supermarket aisle, but it begins defining a different you.

So here I've been doing my "nekkid guy" photography for years. Many of the images are erotic; so are -- in the eyes of some folks -- pornographic. (That's a whole other blog topic --- is it art or is it tart?) But I've never put a model in the position of needing to objectify himself. The images I've done tend to peer into the "who" of the person I'm working with rather than the "what". On the one hand, I'm kinda proud of that. I'm always respectful and take the approach that a shoot is a mutual adventure, a discovery, if you will. On the other, maybe that's the edge that's missing in my work -- a fear of diving into the rabbit hole to see what really lies beneath the surface. Am I simply doing the modern-day male equivalent of early Playboy pastiche? Pretty, but passe'?

Regardless of his decision, I know Oocelot's will be the right one for himself because he already understands that he'll be diving down the rabbit hole and knows the consequences should he enter.

As for me, I know I'm in a bit of quandary right now. I'm doing some of the best work I've ever done; yet Oocelot's conversation with me about porn has got me to thinking I may have been working tangentially. More thinking to be done here. As they say, TBD.

I've been in for the penny for quite a while. Maybe it's time to go for the pound?

Off to a shoot...

Oocelot drove down to Key West to do a second shoot this weekend. We're starting late because we talked into the early morning hours like long-lost sisters. I guess one problem I have with being a would-be commercial (get 'em in, get 'em out) photographer is I really just like getting to know the people I work with as much as I enjoy shooting them. And, for the most part, I seem to attract people who are compelling in ways other than just their amazing bodies.

We came up with some interesting ideas. The car is packed, we've had some breakfast and coffee and he's in the shower doing what models do best -- making sure he looks good. While waiting I'm writing this two paragraph post. We're both charged up for the day's adventure with each other. The energy is already "on" for both of us. Stay tuned for some great outtakes here, on ModelMayhem and deviantArt over the next few days. Oh, by the way, that's Oocelot in the picture above. Enjoy.

To choose or not...

Every evening after I come home from my day job, I dig into either planning the next shoot, editing the previous, calling, texting, e-mailing and/or otherwise getting in touch with folks.

At the moment I'm feverishly working to select and edit the images for my first formal submission for a possible 2011 calendar contract. I've decided I'm going to attempt three separate calendar submissions before the end of the month in addition to providing some other images I simply like in hopes they may become greeting cards or a page or two in one of this publisher's various magazines or books. One will be a series of the same model shot in different locations with a more erotic edge. Another will be selections from my many art nudes featuring different men. And the third will be -- as it's called in the industry -- "beefcake" selections, non nudes of just handsome guys showing off their physiques (not my strongest work as I tend to prefer photographing more mature guys whose images tell something about who they are -- edgier work.) But I'm told the market for guys over 40 is pretty limited though for the life of me I don't understand why since many of the best people I've ever worked with are in their 40s and, occasionally, beyond.

My dilemma is I've never shot any of my work with a thought of having it published. Usually I'm just shooting to build my portfolio and (in many cases) to help the model also build his portfolio and/or fulfill a particular fantasy. As a consequence I haven't the foggiest idea which images have commercial value. So I'm having to look through all this work with a different set of eyes.

One thing that helps a bit is tracking the comments and views on the three public sites where I post a number of images. The largest selection is at http://www.studio4496.deviantart.com/ where I've posted about 600 recent images over the past year. I joined the site in April 2008 and have generated an almost unprecedented 100,000 + page views in just over a year and literally thousands of comments. While I can't post anything erotic there, there are definitely images which are "faved" more often than not.

The site http://www.modelmayhem.com/ where I'm member 12269 provides a similar litmus test, this time among a more select audience of fellow photographers and models. One can "get away" with a little more (not much) vis a vis the erotic on MM and, not surprisingly, given the choice of two really good images, one with a full frontal and one without, the full frontal always wins hands down even if the other image is a stronger image. Now don't get me wrong, the dick shot needs to be well crafted; but -- at least at this point in the evolution of the human species -- we still seem to be obsessed by penis, willy, wanker, dick, schlong, pecker, etc. etc. And finally on http://www.modelcoast.com/ where I'm member 15859 and it is okay to show an erect penis, there's little doubt that tumescence is the crowd pleaser.

But is it art?

I think it can be. Though most folks automatically rule out frontal images (and definitely images with erections) as such. Tart, maybe, but not art. But then the interest if my mini on-line polls are an indication, and hence the money seems to be in the erotic. So the challenge at this point as I attempt to do more commercially successful work is to still create well crafted work that honors each model. AND to find a balance between the erotic and the artful. Cause, ultimately, it has to find a market.

It will be telling to me to see which, if any, of my submissions at the end of the month wind up gracing someone's closet door in 2011.

Sometimes the best ideas...

I've mentioned this before. For me, the best shoots come about when the person who's modeling becomes a collaborator and co-creator.

Over the July 4th holiday weekend I had the privilege of working with Chad Glenn. Not only is he easy on the eyes, but he's a compelling person as well -- intelligent and creative in every respect.

I had an extensive list of possible shoots, props and locations all lined up. The weekend's agenda was crowded to say the least. And the fact that Chad's boss had unexpectedly called him in to work Sunday evening only made it tighter. He had to leave a half day early in order to drive a hundred fifty miles to be there on time. He's a better person than I am. Even with just a day and half of shooting, moments after he left Sunday afternoon I collapsed in a heap from the effort we'd put in.

Now one thing that was not on the list was a cowboy shoot. But Chad had come equipped with boots, de rigeur torn jeans (though I wonder if cowboys really wear Dolce & Gabanna), cowboy hat and a scruffy beard. He said he'd always wanted to add a cowboy look to his portfolio. How could I say no?

Now trust me when I say there is absolutely nothing western looking about Key West. So early Saturday morning I was scratching my head wondering how the heck I was going to give him the look he wanted. Since we wanted an unshaven "out on the range" look, it was the first thing we did Saturday morning. I found a stucco corner of the house that looked like it could plausibly be somewhere out West -- though the palm trees reflected in the windows require a certain suspension of belief. Threw in a shovel, broom and leaves on the deck and figured it'd be a throwaway.

When we looked at the outtakes Saturday evening predictably we were both disappointed. Chad looked great but the setting just didn't make the grade. I was pretty sure I'd wind up tossing the whole set on the cutting room floor. Then he said something "what if you make them look aged?"

Brilliant. Of course, do a modern day take off on a daguerreotype.

To create the "look" each photo took me between 30 and 45 minutes to edit so my selection process was even more cutthroat that usual. But as far as I'm concerned Chad came up with the perfect solution.

More than just a handsome face...

Some years ago I was traveling in Guatemala to experience the great Mayan ruins of Tikal. Just past the border crossing the road from Belize City into the jungle degraded into something best described as a quasi-graded rut. Needless to say, the all terrain vehicle I was in moved very slowly. All along the torturous route there were women and children selling gigantic cashews, extraordinary hand dyed textiles and other goods designed to lure each tourist's hand to his wallet. Naturally, I didn't think anything of taking photos along the way; but -- while snapping one woman -- she held up her hand and said "No, you are taking my soul." I respectfully turned away; but her words have stayed with me for years.

Since then I've taken tens of thousands of photographs -- many for the community newspaper I edited and many more of what I refer to as my "nekkid men". With the paper I did my best to avoid the standard "grip and grin" images gracing the pages of every small town periodical published. I'd wade my way into a crowded event and look for the intense conversation or the person out of place. I'd work to find a moment of interaction which defined the event. Those were the photos that got published. Similarly, when I work with a model it isn't just about his handsome face or toned body or even his hard dick -- though, honestly I'm always happy to have some or all of those combinations at work -- but, just as importantly, in the words of the Guatemalan woman it's about capturing part of his soul.

I don't do a lot of photoshoots primarily because I make an effort to get to know someone by phone and/or e-mail or otherwise before I shoot them. There's just as much effort that goes into the creation of a shoot as there is in the actual shoot and the hours of editing afterwards. Part of what I'm doing when I'm planning with someone is finding what sets him apart. In some cases it's a vulnerability. In others it's unparalled athletic exuberance. Others just enjoy the discovery -- finding perhaps that naughty boy inside beat down by the nuns. And one could go on down the list. For each person I choose to work with has something that truly is unique.

One of the reasons my work isn't as stylistically predictable as other photographers is that I find the best shoots happen when the person who's modeling is actively engaged in the process -- the shoot scenario is his idea, the location is his find. I'll plan for weeks to set up a location and wardrobe with props...then we just see something and know that's the moment we both want to capture. To hell with the plan! On the other hand, we couldn't throw away the plan or have found that moment if we hadn't taken the time to get to know each other first. As a consequence, many of the men I work with become long-term friends. And, even when they don't, many leave feeling that the shoot stood apart from others they'd participated in.

That isn't to say my approach always works. Two years ago an amazing bodybuilder from Los Angeles called me up. He knew I had provided Zeb Atlas with some images for his Web page, liked them and wanted to shoot with me. My ego puffed and I agreed to work with him without the usual "getting to know you" process. My gosh, he was handsome, built like a brick shithouse and had the dick of death -- how could I go wrong with this guy?

So a few months passed after the initial e-mail request and my "yes" when I got a call saying he was going to be in Miami the next week and would I still be interested in driving up. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. So I drove up with my studio lights in tow and met him at his fancy $400 a night South Beach hotel. Asking what the occasion for the trip to South Florida was, his answer was "Only to shoot with you." He then started to berate Mark Jenkins, one of the most talented people in the world of male photography, saying his work was amateur and that the shoot he'd done with Mark the week before was a total failure, i.e. he just didn't know how to shoot bodybuilders.

Sweat beads started to form. And if I'd listened to my inner angel at that point I would have packed up and made the long drive back to Key West without a single frame snapped. Instead my ego took over and I thought to myself "I'm good. I can do this."

Fast forward three days and a very long quiet drive with the model in my car back to Miami from Key West. Yes -- I was actually crazy enough to think that, given the right context, I could make it work. The problem was, the more I got to know him, the more I realized that the only unique thing about him was his anger -- at himself, at gay men (his clients) in particular and pretty much anything else in the world. As a result despite several thousand images that long weekend I couldn't take a single good photograph of him despite his physical perfection. I may have captured his soul but it was one that was tortured and it showed through almost every image I took.

It shook me up -- a lot. As a consequence, I didn't do any of my "nekkid men" photography for almost a year and a half afterwards.

It was just this past April with Alan Valdez (featured in the photo above) that I finally got back on the horse to see if I could still ride.

The late Bob Stickel of Ten Casting Management (my experiences with Bob over the years will no doubt be the subject of other future blogs) contacted me about Alan. Bob has worked with hundreds of young men over the years, helping them find their way in world of male modeling, TV, fitness magazines, commercials, soft-core porn and for a few who must remain unamed for fear of lawsuits -- major motion picture careers. He told me he felt Alan was his next truly great find -- that he had the potential of one of his previous proteges Tony Ward (Madonna's ex). And that (here comes the ego part) Alan needed my special eye plus water images (lots of that in Key West) for his portfolio.

I took the bait and decided to come out of my hibernation. Alan and I didn't have a lot of contact before the shoot; but we hit it off immediately and I realized that I needed not only to get back on the horse; but start riding again. Since then I've worked with two extraordinary new models Oocelot and Chad Glen. I've been contacted by a major publication house to do a submission for one of their calendar series for 2011 (no guarantees, of course) and I'm having a ball planning my next three shoots. "Yippee ki yay. Ride 'em cowboy!"

But this time I'm taking the time to do it the right way -- really get to know the person modeling in advance. Cause ultimately it isn't just about another handsome face. On the one hand, male physique images are all about the surface -- the package, if you will -- but the ones that endure for whatever reason -- capture something inside that can't be denied.

Daunting ... but in a good way

Two weekends ago I shot with an amazing new model Oocelot. Over the July 4th holiday weekend I shot with Chad Glenn, who -- though he's only been in the physique modeling world for just a year -- has already been featured in the March 2009 Playgirl online as well as having shot with great photographers such as Dylan Rosser, Mark Jenkins, David Vance and Mark Henderson. I am now privileged to have been added to that esteemed group.

Working with Chad is incredibly productive. Even though I'm a slow shooter (too many years with expensive film -- I still frame and set almost every pose), we managed to create together over 1400 images in just a day and a half of working together. Additionally, we created twelve totally different looks and scenarios together. Of the 1400 images, I probably messed up 150 and Chad was even better. He hit the mark perfectly on all but 30 shots. Usually, in this business you're lucky if you get one or two good shots in a hundred.

That's the daunting part -- what do I throw onto the cutting room floor when so many are so good?

The differences between a "wow" shot that absolutely pops and a very good shot are subtle. It may be as slight as a hand placement or the twist in the torso. It's nearly impossible to predict or manage in the shoot process -- too many moving parts in the mix. Yet you know it when you see it.

Both Chad and Oocelot have notable design backgrounds, one in interior design, the other in graphic design. So they both have incredible eyes for detail, composition, color as well as overall impact.

One of the things I like to do with each model is to review the photos while they are still fresh. It allows us both to learn what works, what doesn't and to give feedback to each other. It's something that relatively few photographers do; but -- for me -- it's a critical element of my personal creative process -- giving and receiving feedback. Interestingly, in a very different way, it's my turn to get naked for the model. Whenever I'm looking at raw images prior to the edits I feel vulnerable. And to do it with people such as Oocelot and Chad who have such incredible eyes is, well, to use the word again -- daunting.

So it was with some sense of relief in the review process that I would hear the word "wow" in my ear just I said it myself. Ahh, sweet validation.

Now over the next few weeks comes two more daunting tasks: first, to select and edit only the best of the best; and second, to find more ways to market the images...ultimately, they need to pay for themselves.

One more shoot with Oocelot is planned for mid-July. Then in early August I'll be working with the incredible Nathan Lewis from the UK for three days. In the meantime, I'll keep you updated with some posts as I begin the editing process.

Began the edits of my most recent shoot this evening

It was a long day at work; but I really wanted to begin the editing process for my latest shoot with Oocelot, an amazing new model currently living in North Miami Beach.

Selecting which photos are worth keeping is always the most difficult part of the editing process for me. They're like children -- each has its potential and its flaws -- and I'm reluctant to discard anything for fear that I may be missing something that others would enjoy. Yet, when you're looking at 400-500 images from an afternoon, you know that only a few are going to pop in the way that really grabs other folks' attention. So my mood shifts between ruthlessness and remorse in the selection process.

After that selection process is complete, the process of editing for me is pure joy. I think of photoshop as my darkroom. Once I have a concept for the image or a series, I start playing with different tools until I create something that is characteristic of "my look" while staying true to the intent of the shoot. I really dislike images that are photoshopped so much that they are parodies of themselves. There has to be integrity in the approach as well.

After I figure out the approach and the appropriate tools to achieve the look I'm going for, the rest is just about staying in the zone. I liken it to a Zen moment...totally immersed and totally present at the same time. And I usually stay with it until I physically drop -- which is what I'm about to do right now.

I spent so much time selecting just the first few score of images that I was only able to edit five from the hundreds that Oocelet and I did out at Boca Chica. But it's a good beginning I think.

More edits to come next week as I have a whole other shoot planned for the July 4th weekend with Chad Glenn. Some thoughts about planning and conducting a shoot in the next few posts. But for now I'm including one of the images that I believe I can safely publish here on the blog. Hope you enjoy.

Introducing the Male Figurative Photography of Studio 4496

About the Artist -- Michael Kilgore

When I was five years old my parents took the family on a vacation to Daytona Beach. Playing in the sand near the Boardwalk was boring for a little comic book-aholic and I’d spotted a stand nearby. It was safe back in those days to let your kid out of sight so Mom gave me a few quarters and sent me on the way. While looking through the standard kid comics I couldn’t help but notice a drawn white curtain and decided to explore.
The shelves behind this veil were packed with the beefcake books of that day such as Physique Pictorial and Physical Culture. I was immediately transported to my personal little heaven. No more Batman for me! I made a selection and marched proudly to the counter. The sales clerk took one look at me – then the books – and I found myself outside in the sand with a “Don’t come back!” thrown in for good measure. I was a little shaken up (it’s easy to pick up a five-year old) but dusted off the sand. And knew at that moment I’d found my calling!

Fast forward thirty-seven years to 1992. At that time I decided to get serious about photographing men and began working under the name of Studio 4496. I have since developed a small, but ever growing portfolio, of approximately 70,000 images with a primary focus on male figurative and art nudes.

After years of practicing my craft, I've arrived at a style which is distinctively my own; though, no doubt, it will continue to evolve and, hopefully, improve. My goal through this blog is to broaden the audience for the images as well as market my soon-to-be revamped Web site http://www.studio4496.com/. Right now the archival site that's looking pretty outdated is still running but it should give you at least some idea of the path that led to this point. More current images may be viewed on two other sites http://www.studio4496.deviantart.com/ as well as http://www.modelmayhem.com/ where you'll need to search for member #12269.

Oh, by the way, the models and I are having a blast and I don’t worry about getting sand kicked in my face anymore. I'll be shooting a lot during the coming months and will be sure to keep you updated regarding the shoots, the models as well as Web site developments.